Mo' Monkeys

Okay, one more Monkey Temple post.... this time with guest photos from my friend (and co-Singapore-expat) Eric Wong. He got some better photos of me with the monkeys than I did myself, so I figured it was worth borrowing a few to show just how (unhygienically) close we were able to get.

Stalking each other.

Offering the Banana of Peace.

I assure you, that is not a touch of fear on my face... I'm simply assessing the situation.

Everyone should have a personal primate.

Remember what I said about their teeth? I wasn't kidding, was I?!? This is why I look a little nervous in some of these photos. I mean, geez, where do they even keep those things?

Monkeys Monkeys Monkeys!!!

As nice as the beaches and temples were, by far the coolest place we went in Bali was the Monkey Forest Temple in Ubud. This place should win a contest for most-accurately-named tourist attraction. It had a forest. It had a temple. And it had monkeys. Oh, did it ever have monkeys.

See no Decepticons? Sideways ventured out of my bag briefly, until he realized that he is small, colorful, and shiny. Not wanting to end up monkey food, he spent the rest of the trip tucked safely away.

This photo doesn't really give a sense of how jam-packed with monkeys this place was. Seriously, there were monkeys everywhere, whole families of them. Far from being afraid of humans, they are super-aggressive, and will literally jump on you and CLIMB YOU if they think you have food. There were women selling mini-bananas at the gate, for feeding the monkeys; I bought a bunch, and spent the next half hour trying to find ways to sneak single bananas out of my bag while not catching the monkeys' attention. I was only partially successful. A few times I unzipped my bag and suddenly had a furry grey friend clinging to my chest. And by "friend" I mean, of course, "disease-carrying beady-eyed tooth-beast." Once I got ambushed by a group of about five of them, and literally had to run up an old staircase to get away.

Wikipedia says this place has about 340 monkeys, but it felt like waaaay more. Apparently the type of monkey is a "Crab-eating Macaque"... which is weird, because Ubud is inland. Maybe they eat tree-crabs? Or maybe they subsist solely on bananas pilfered from terrified Western tourists.

While the adults are distracted, I think we're witnessing some sort of shakedown happening with the adolescent monkeys on the left. I assume this is the monkey equivalent of "give my your lunch money, geek!"

Boy they look so peaceful and cute when sleeping, huh? Like little furry old men. Then they open their mouths and you realize these things have teeth like freaking timber wolves.

Hey kids, can you spot which are the real monkeys and which are the statues? Here's a hint, the real ones are the ones leaping on you and clawing at your face.

Anyway, face-clawing aside, the Monkey Forest was AWESOME. I highly recommend it if you go to Bali. You might want to bring some pepper spray.

Elephant Cave... With No Elephants

The second day in Bali we hired a driver and ventured inland to Ubud.  Ubud is the artsy mountain community in Bali, known for woodcarving, painting, and dance.  Sadly we missed the dancers (which I heard later were amazing... sigh) but we did get to visit some other nearby sites.  The first we went to was the Elephant Cave, an 11th-century Hindu temple.  

This gaping door about to swallow me is the "cave" in the phrase "Elephant Cave." Inside is a narrow, somewhat claustrophobic passage with a few little shrines and rounded alcoves carved into the wall.  The alcoves are for people to sit in while they meditate.  Although perhaps people smaller than Chubby McManboobs up there.  Oh, the flattering blue cloth around my waist was checked out to me at the entrance to the temple. We were all wearing shorts, which I guess is not permitted.  Good thing I didn't bring Sideways, that dude doesn't even wear pants.

A top view of the temple's courtyard.

11th-century fish pool.  This pool had a mirror image on the other side of the walkway, but that one had no fish.  Not sure what the symbolism of that was. I can only assume it is the classic struggle of good and evil. On one side is slimy, scaly, bug-eyed, boney-mouthed evil, on the other side is the pleasant benevolence of a fish-free swimming pool. 

I don't like fish.

Temples got dibs on all the good landscapers in the 11th century.

My compatriots Eric and Kevin walking the narrow path alongside a rice paddy.  Note their dashing leg-wrappings. 

Sideways in Bali

Hey, so.... I'm alive.  

I've heard that the best way to do a blog is to allow at least three months between posts. It really helps build suspense. People who read blogs are notoriously patient, and really hate getting up-to-the-minute updates. Yessir, looooong periods of inactivity... that's what the netizens of the world crave!

Anyway, so some time back Sideways and I took a trip to Bali. It's just a hop, skip, and a terrifying plane flight from Singapore (although to be fair, no more terrifying than any other plane flight), so when friends asked me to come along I jumped at the chance.  I'm always happy to take a trip in a flying metal death tube!  

We stayed in a little town called Seminyak, near the southern side of Bali.  It's right up the coast from Kuta, one of the main tourist hubs.  "Kuta," I can only assume from our brief outing there, is the Balinese word for "gross trash-filled cesspool full of drunk Australian frat boys."  Seminyak, however, is very nice!  It is pleasantly laid-back, almost rural, and is peppered with indulgent villas that can be rented for relatively cheap rates.  We stayed in one called Kembali Villas, and it was great.  Private pool, breakfast cooked for you in the kitchen every morning, and a five minute walk to the beach. 

The villa was very private, with high walls and little paths leading between the different units.  

Our private pool and little pavilion thingy. For sitting. I called it a papasan, but that's wrong, that's a chair. It's not really a gazebo, those are bigger and contain brass bands. So I don't what it is. Sitting Platform? Cushion Pagoda? 

The little inner courtyard.

Our open-air kitchen and living room area.  

Overall, I can see why some other Bali visitors I talked to ended up spending the bulk of their trip just lounging around the villas. It would be easy to do. But not for us, the life of indolence! We got out and saw some fantastic things in other parts of Bali, details of which shall be posted within the next couple days. Or, you know.... three months from now. Whatever.

The Best Zoo In The World (Part 3)

The Best Part of the Best Zoo in the World was a section called "Fragile Forest." It's a covered, greenhouse-like area where you can walk right in amongst lemurs and flying foxes. It's seriously one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I've alway loved lemurs, and it was amazing getting right up close to them. I easily could have picked one up and petted it (they come right up to you), but I was trying to follow the posted rules and leave them alone. That didn't stop a group of school kids from petting them. Hmph.

The flying foxes were even cooler..... literally like little flying dogs. But sadly, that's when my camera died. Gahh, I shouldn't have wasted pictures on the alligators!

Such awesome little animals. Like cats crossed with monkeys. If lemurs were domesticated, I think they would be the most popular pets ever.

Lemur? I hardly know 'er!

See the lemur in the upper righthand corner? They were right there! And much closer. So cool.

The cheetah was one of the animals that I though could just leap its moat. It was right across from the zebra exhibit.... I don't know how it resists going for a midnight snack.

Meerkats!

Anyway, the point is, the Singapore Zoo rocks.

The Best Zoo In The World (Part 2)

Sideways came to the zoo, but after a close call with the alligators he elected to remain safely tucked away in my bag.

Only after I took this (admittedly bad) photo did I think how difficult it would be to explain to the zookeeper why their prize endangered alligator choked on an action figure.

Ford vs. Chevy, Coke vs. Pepsi, Alligators vs. Crocodiles.... ahh, the eternal arguments.

Behind you. BeHIND you! For the love of God, BEHIND YOU!!!!!

Komodo Dragon! I didn't realize they were so orange.

One cool thing is that the zoo was celebrating Chinese New Year. It is Year of the Tiger, of course, and so the exhibits were mostly tiger-centric (culminating in a pair of white tigers.... sadly, my camera ran out of batteries before I got there). Anyway, they had banners up celebrating all the animals of the Zodiac, and used the Komodo Dragon for Year of the Dragon. Kinda neat, not all zoos have dragons on hand.

These guys were so cute, I figured I really otter get a photo.

(That was for Lisa. And Glen.)

The Best Zoo In The World (Part 1)

I haven't been to every zoo in the world, but I feel confident saying the zoo in Singapore is the best one. Seriously. Photos don't do the Singapore Zoo justice. The cool thing about it is that it is mostly open-air. While the animals don't exactly roam free, it sure feels like they do. There are very few cages, fences, or glass walls; you really feel like you are sharing the space with the animals. Orangutans swing over your head, while monkeys scramble around inches from you on railings. There are moats on some exhibits, of course, but they're not that big. I honestly don't know what keeps some of the big predators from just hopping over and eating the rest of the animals at night.

Talk. Talk, damn you! I know you can do it!!!

I know they can do it.

Climb as high up that tree as you want, I'm still higher on the evolutionary scale. Yeah.... how do you like them bananas?

Dinosaur!

Okay, these were one of the coolest animals there, the giant tortoises. I've never seen one up close before, but you could walk in and interact with them like a petting zoo. For giant prehistoric armored reptiles, their faces have such personality.

So cool they need two photos. Is it nerdy that these make me think of Super Mario Bros.?

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

Well, Chinese New Year came and went in Singapore. You know, when I realized I would be here for it, I was excited. I figured it would be pretty huge. And it was, I guess.... decorations were everywhere, and it felt pretty festive. But when it was winding down, I felt like I hadn't really taken full advantage of it. I missed the parade, unfortunately.... my fault, I never found out where it would be. And while I saw a few lion dances, I neglected to take any video of them. So I'm afraid my New Years post is a little like my New Years experience.... underwhelming.

So, wheeee, with that kind of intro, enjoy!

Red and gold everywhere.

Okay.... I think this is supposed to be the God of Wealth, Kuan Yu. Apparently he is recognizable by his red face and long black beard. But the internet hive-mind says that he normally wears green, so I don't know for sure. Someone feel free to set me straight on this if I got it wrong. Sideways was no help, he is Quaker.

For New Years dinner, my co-expat Eric and I decided to cook. We made the traditional food of Chinese New Year: fajitas.

Poor planning in action! Turns out unripe avocados are about as tasty as a bar of soap. We should have bought them days earlier. So our fajitas were, sadly, sin guacamole.

The Lion Dancers were plentiful in the two weeks following New Years. Crews of them travel around in little trucks, systematically blessing businesses with their dances. Here they are blessing, uh, a sports bar across from my house.

Fort Canning Park #3

So, I only split the Fort Canning stuff up because I guess Blogspot limits each post to five photos. So my apologies.... that means when I start doing more interesting things that require more than five photos, there will be more of these serial posts.

Fort Canning also contains the house of Sir Stamford Raffles of the East India Trading Company, the founder of modern Singapore. Unsurprisingly, Raffles' name is all over everything here. There's a hotel, a shopping center, and lots of other places. When I first arrived here, I saw the "Raffles Center" and assumed it was some sort of arcade or something. Makes sense, right? Ah well.

This cemetery was the populated by members of the Singapore governmental offices from the 1800's, some local, some foreign. I always enjoy cemeteries, so I lingered here a bit reading the headstones. And hey, I didn't even take any photos of toy robots on the graves! See? Respectful.

This was kinda interesting. There used to be a much larger cemetery on the Fort Canning grounds, but its occupants were relocated (I'm assuming to reclaim the open space). Many of the tombstones weren't relocated with the graves, but were instead built into this wall.

It's sort of like the opposite of Poltergeist. They moved the bodies, but not the headstones! Didn't ya! You only moved the bodies!!!

For the record, I don't think Fort Canning has poltergeists.

Fort Canning Park #2

Fort Canning has some fortifications, including this cannon.... but it has never been fired in aggression, only to signify special occasions.

Sideways feels like a man.

There were a couple of pieces of art from a wood-carving competition, including this giant plug. I'm embarrassed to say that it took me a good thirty seconds to realize it was a plug. I really gotta get out of the U.S. more.

This one was easier to figure out. I like that the baby is wearing a swim cap.

Fort Canning Park #1

Walking around the city I sort of stumbled on Fort Canning Park, which actually ended up being someplace noteworthy! Mostly I was drawn to it because it was a patch of green, and I at the time I was getting tired of sidewalks and buildings. Since then I've realized that Singapore is actually pretty green and lush, despite its thick protective coating of shopping malls.

Fort Canning is on a hill, and apparently this hill was a popular spot for past rulers of Singapore to set up shop. The original Malay settlers put their temples and tombs here, the Chinese immigrants set up trading posts, the English colonists built fortifications... even the Decepticon conquest that Sideways assures me is coming have their eyes on it for a possible protoform daycare center.

Nowadays they have things like music festival, art shows, and other cultural events here. But it was pretty quiet and peaceful when I was there. Well, except for the truck that almost ran me over on the road pictured below. The truck is not pictured, as I was too busy not getting run over.

By the way, Sideways IS in this photo. Can you find him? It's not easy.... he is a robot in disguise, after all.

"Where do these steps go?"

"They go up."

Incidentally, I've heard that quoting movies makes you super cool.

I guess Fort Canning underwent a big renovation around 2001. One of the things they did was to re-create a small part of the big spice garden that once sprawled across the grounds and included occupants like this cinnamon tree. I'm not sure why they built the tiny action figure hot tubs. I mean, Singapore is already pretty hot.

During the renovation they opened this archeological dig site, in which they are excavating some ruins from colonial times. They also had a neat, very interesting timeline on the wall showing the history of the settlement of Singapore.

Sadly, no mummies or dinosaurs. I'm not sure I can fully endorse any archeological dig that doesn't unearth mummies or dinosaurs, but they did have some old Chinese coins. I guess you could use them to BUY a mummy.